Now, the real problem here is simply that there isn’t a clear answer to the question: when should the shower happen? The answer to this will almost always depend on factors that are specific to the mother-to-be, the guests, and other issues.
So rather than providing a “one-size-fits-all” answer here – which is something that we can’t do without knowing the details of your particular baby shower – let’s just look at the variables. Once you know these, you’ll easily be able to determine when the baby shower should be held.
The Mother-to-Be
Let’s start with mother-to-be. She may have a preference about when the shower should be held; and this preference should be heeded. The father-to-be might also provide input here, which is wonderful and should be part of the overall decision-making process (we take a closer look at “couples” baby-showers later on in this book).
What kinds of things might influence a mother-to-be’s preference on when the shower should be held? Some of them prefer to have the shower when they’re showing; they may feel that there’s something more appropriate (for lack of a better word) about holding a shower when people can actually see that a baby is on the way.
In practical terms, this means that a shower might be held well into the second trimester, or into the third.
The Guests
As we all know, December is a season for parties and events; both business, and personal. As a result, it may be polite to not hold the baby shower during “party season”, as it may influence whether people would be able to attend (or be able to relax when they attend, because they don’t have three more “get togethers” to go to after the baby shower!).
Furthermore, if you live in a wintry climate, it may be a pleasant idea to not have the baby shower in the dead of winter. True, life does go on in the middle of January and people go to work and do many of the things that they want to do (go shopping, go to restaurants, and so on), but if it makes absolutely no difference to you and the mother-to-be (and/or the father-to-be) whether the baby shower is held in late January or late April, then it may be advisable to choose the latter; simply for climate concerns.
The Gifts
This is one that most people don’t think about until someone brings it up, and then they say to themselves: ohhhh, yes, that makes sense! Fortunately for you, you’re getting a sneak-peak at that thought well before someone at the baby shower asks it!
As we all know, some people prefer to give gender-specific gifts. While, indeed, times have changed and makers of baby-related items are creating more gender-neutral items, there’s still a large contingent of people who want to give baby blue gifts to an impending son, or pink gifts to an impending daughter.
In light of this, if the parents-to-be have decided to learn the baby’s gender via ultrasound, and further decided to share that information with the world-at-large, then it may be very appreciated by the baby shower guests if you hold the shower after the baby’s gender information has widely disseminated. In other words: some people will be grateful that they know whether a boy or girl is on the way before they buy their gift.
Ultrasound gender diagnostic tests typically happen around the 9 week mark of gestation (though it can be later in some cases), and so this factor may influence whether you hold the shower early on, or wait until this information is known (assuming, of course, that the parents-to-be want to know!).
Post-Birth Baby Showers
Some people are surprised to learn that many baby showers happen after the baby has been born. Actually, this is quite common because, in addition to having the shower itself, this timing affords guests the wonderful opportunity to actually see the baby (and make all kinds of goo goo gaa gaa noises that we all love to make!).
Holding a post-birth shower may also work out better in light of other factors noted above, such as climate, and preferences of the parents-to-be.
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